July 13, 2011

River Trip 2011

Let me go ahead and state for the record this blog will not do this year's river trip any justice. Jerry and I have been going on four straight years of floating the Guadalupe and although some years are better than others, this year tops them all.

Here it goes...

We left Thursday morning and we had the camper all packed and ready to go. We were waiting on our friends Jones and Nick. Amanda was already here because I had picked her up at the airport the night before. Amanda comes from Chicago for this trip. We were on the road by 9:18am, 18 minutes behind my intinerary.  We arrived in New Braunfels and stopped at the last fast food restaurant. We were completely out of options  here. There are three places I never frequent: McDonalds, Jack-N-The-Box, and Burger King. I remember why now, because they suck! We ate in the BK lounge and it was disgusting. They should call that place the Fly Lounge. We all felt like 'grim death' after it. We got to our campsite and it took all of five minutes to get the camper level and situated before we sat outside on the picnic table and enjoyed some adult beverages under a big tree. We then walked down to the river and hung out down there. Before it got too ridiculous we all got dressed and headed to Gruene to eat at The Gristmill. We went back to the campsite and continued our fellowship down by the river.

Friday. We all were up pretty early thanks to Jones. I know I didn't mind. We all chipped in to make breakfast and lunches for the day's float. We got our tubes and were floating by 10:00am. It was going just perfectly. The river was the lowest I've ever seen it, but it was doable. Except the part where I get off my tube and start walking across rocks, I jump back into it, reach down to grab my water camera, and it's gone. I had some great pictures on there too. I REALLY tried to not lose it. I tried to put a string on it the day before but it wouldn't go through the itzy bitzy hole they provide. I even bought a water tight box to wear around my neck, but it didn't fit in there. AHHHH, it still makes me mad! That was the same time that Jones was doing his Chewbacca voice to a flock of geese and getting them all riled up. Our float ended up being 8 hours. We finished it with some football and  fajitas. Our friends, Heather and John joined us that night and it was great seeing an old friend.

Saturday was strong. Too strong. It was Amanda's 31st Birthday! We just did the half float, which still turned into 6 hours of floating. Jerry's sterio cooler was a hit. We had a bunch of people flocking to us passing around their nasty bag of wine. The playlist I had made was good. Really good. I put Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline on it and the entire river was singing to it. "Sweeet Caroline Bah Bah Bah Good Times Never Seem So Good  SO GOOD SO GOOD SO GOOD!" Then, Jones got out of his tube, picked Amanda up and said, "In the name of the father, the son, and holy spirt" and babtized her! Not once but twice! The second time he dragged that 6'1" amazon girl out of her tube, her arms flailing everywhere and he dunks her again! We noticed a guy holding a pink flamingo the entire time. We thought was incredibly odd. Turns out it was a beer bong. Pretty creative I thought.  It was a great two days of floating and making fun of each other. Nipples that needed to be lopped, Nancy, Cankles.... We got off the river,  Jerry started the grill for burgers, Amanda showered, and Jones Nick and I endulged ourselves in a game of volleyball at the pool. Nick was good. Jones was not.  We ate, got ready for the Robert Earl Keene concert, and left. It was a great concert and he played all his classics and even my favorite song.

Other then losing my camera and Jones cutting his big toe open, that weekend couldn't have been any better.

Sunday. Nick is waking up and looks down at his REK band around his wrist and says, "Oh good, I can keep drinking." I couldn't stop laughing. The drive home was ridiculous. I was in the hurt box and Jones did not stop talking the entire way home. Whatever he was looking at, he would say something about it. It was like having Bailey in the car. At one point, Jones was telling a story, Amanda asked him a very simple question. He looked at her blankly. She asked the question again. Still blank stare. Nick yells, "Jones, you havin' a stroke?!"

Top Quotes:
all the Dave Chappelle/Rick James references by all
"Ball Soup"
"I hate classic rock" (total lie, it was funny because I was wearing a The Who shirt.)
"My goal is to keep up with Jerry." -Amanda

There's a bunch I can't put on here, but trust me when I say this river trip was epic!

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