I have never had those motherly instincts like most women are born with, maybe because they were never bestowed upon me. I never recall playing with dolls or ever pretending to be a mommy. Babysitting was the worst and honestly I was okay with not having kids.
Having Bailey changed me. A lot.
I decided to let the car warm up a little longer this morning so I could go wake up the 'rug rat'. Jerry drops her off at school so I can miss 820 traffic and get to practice early. I am very thankful to be married to Jerry, because coaching takes so much time. I can always count on him to keep her on Saturdays, drop her off at school, pick her up, feed her, give her a bath, and read to her before bed. I only got to say goodnight to her after my basketball game last night, so I made a point to see her this morning. As she was laying there with her hair all over her face, covers on the floor, and drooling on her pillow, I just watched her sleep. I quickly remembered how blessed I am for God giving her to me and this family. I am so thankful that she is a healthy little girl. She is spoiled beyond words and I just hope that I can be the mother to her that I never had. I have very few memories of my mother and the ones I remember are terrible. I want to be that mother that she can always count on and remembers good things about growing up.
Don't get me wrong there are definitely those days where I want to rip her head off because she won't stop whining or crying, but this morning was one of those good times I want to document.
I have a few friends that are pregnant right now, some that are trying really hard to have a baby, some that have just lost their baby, and whatever God has in store for them I hope they are as happy as I am with my little rug rat.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11