February 11, 2011

Terrible 3's - Don't read unless you're a parent and have a personality.

Happy Friday people. This was a great day, despite Bailey waking up at midnight puking like a cat everywhere. Not once but twice. I had to give her a bath this morning because she smelt like Jake's breath, but that's after I checked her temperature and it was a lovely 102.3. That means no daycare and somebody has to stay home with her. NOT IT!!  I wish the higher their temperture was the healthier they are somedays. Jerry is staying home with her because I have a basketball game. Sucker! Get ready for a long boring day with a clingy whiny baby!

Don't have kids. They are always sick. You're always taking off work, going to the doctor,  paying a co-pay and picking up prescriptions. Then you are worried you're stumping their growth. Daily vitamins. They destroy your body. They're always crying. They're always whining if they are not crying. They are so needy. So much attention. You're always cooking because you can't afford to eat out. You're always cleaning. You're always picking up toys. They're dirty. You're always doing laundry. You're always emptying that damn dishwasher. You're always loading that damn dishwasher.  Nothing's good enough. You give an inch they take a mile. You say five minutes until bed, they yell SIX! You have to read to them. They always want you to hold them. They tire so easily. They never want to go to bed. They never eat good food, just a butt load of crap food. They ruin dinner every night. You feel guilty if you don't brush their teeth everyday.  All they do is mess up their room. All you do is clean up that room. If the suns out, you have to take them outside. You have to play 'they throw the ball and you fetch it'. If you tell them to NOT do something, they are going to do it.  You have to put them in every activity so you gave them the chance in life to be 'well rounded'. They're always touching your acne-prone face. They can't stand it if you have your eyes shut for even a minute.  Daycare is expensive. You always have to bring something for a class party. Think of what you can do with that $600 bucks each month.  They get your car dirty. Fingerprints on everything. You have to have small utensils for them. You have to have sippy cups for them. They spill everything. You have to have bright colored plastic plates incase they drop them.  You find petrified cheerios, fruit snacks, and raisins everywhere. They can't do anything by themselves until they are three years old, and then it's a battle to get them to do it. Sometimes they love bathtime, sometimes they hate it. You still have to wipe them. You always have to cut their nails that grow mach 5. Haircuts! They are constatly falling and hurting themselves. They always want damn CiCi's. They don't know the difference between a toot coming or a crap coming. We shart ourselves in CiCi's once. We can't go back. They want your phone every freakin time you are on it. They interrupt. If you have a girl you're really screwed. Sometimes they want a bow in their hair, sometimes they want a pony-tail. They cry when you brush it. You have to teach them to have morals and self respect so they don't get knocked up at 15. Then you get to pay for a wedding only after you pay for their college, prom dress, and mums.  Abstinence is good.

BUT, you wouldn't give them up for all the money in the world.

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